A STORY WORTH TELLING
“Since I’m late sending you this birthday card, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen again. Please consider this your first happy birthday wish for the year.”
— My standard birthday card greeting
“What I don’t like about Father’s Day,” began last Sunday’s sermon by Center Church of Christ minister Tim Perkins, “is that more is spent on Mother’s Day gifts than on Father’s Day gifts.”
He concluded the statement with a smile and I laughed. But Tim’s signature humor reminded me of my longestablished habits regarding those special days — Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Christmas and Valentine’s Day. And the big one: birthdays.
Each one is a special occasion for remembering those we love and cherish.
“Caring enough to send the very best,” as Hallmark once promoted and I still do. I also still prefer the lost art of sending a real card that can be held, saved and read again and again.
My only problem is, I’m always late. Believe me when I say the “belated” birthday card was invented just for me.
Striving to improve over the years, I had one great idea about 40 years ago. And it was genius, if I do say so. I came up with it all by myself.
Instead of sending belated birthday cards all year long, just send everyone a card at the first of the year. Sign them, “Let me be the first one to wish you happy birthday this year.”
The plan was to mail them between Christmas and New Year’s Day. However, since February events typically cross my mind at the Fourth of July picnic, it was around St. Patrick’s Day before this stroke of genius came to me. Therefore, the ship had already sailed for January and February birthdays.
“Oh well,” I thought. “They’ll get the belated version one more year. Which is what would have happened anyway.”
“This is going to be a great idea,” I giggled with glee.
My sister Leslie’s birthday is in February. One more belated card for her would be no problem at all. Unless I forgot to mail it.
And the timing was perfect for my grandmother’s birthday on March 6. There was some concern, however. Granny was dealing with some minor heart issues at that time. Would getting a birthday card from me on time be too much of a surprise for her heart?
Next on the list was my baby sister, Sylvia. May 21. A card from me a couple of months early might make her wonder, “What can this be. Leap year? National Pickle Week?”
She had never received a birthday card from me on time. So, I knew she would laugh. She would also have been the first one to say, “Now that is really dumb … even for Leon.”
Next on the list was my mother’s birthday in June. But getting a card in March, she would have still just quietly opened it, smiled and said, “How nice. Leon remembered.”
Then, she would have put it aside to go into her cedar chest later, with every other card she had ever received, before returning to lunch or the latest episode of “All My Children.”
Mark my word, however, sometime between 3:30 p.m. and next Tuesday, the light would have come on, and she would have said out loud, “My birthday is not until June!”
Dad would have opened his card, laughed softly and shook his head because his birthday was in August. And because, for as long as I could remember, he was the only one who knew exactly what I did, why l did it and most of the time, before I did it.
Dad would have also been the one to explain it all to Mom.
Sylvia would be calling Leslie to figure out what marble I’ve lost now. Leslie would then have been trying to understand why she got a belated card when everyone else got a regular card.
It’s an idea that still might work. At the time, I decided it was just too risky and more than everyone could figure out, and too much confusion to explain. Even for
me. But feel free to give it a try. I still think it’s the best idea since the Vegematic was promoted on late-night TV.
In any case, remember this: If someone forgets your birthday, take it as a compliment. It could mean you don’t look like you’ve aged enough since your last one.
