RELATIVELY SPEAKING | by Dr. Ron Braley
I’ve heard visiting relatives are like dead fish: both stink by the third day.
Whether that’s true depends on the relatives, I suppose. But one thing’s for sure: Relationships are meant to be mutually beneficial and very little happens without them. Besides familial, friendship and commercial advantages, relationships become the backbone for things such as discipleship, charity, correction and conflict resolution.
DISCIPLESHIP
This only works when trusting, intimate relationships provide a conduit for learning and spiritual growth. Jesus utilized existing relationships and built upon them with friends such as James, John, Peter, Andrew and Philip. He also grew new, trusting discipleship-focused relationships through existing connections: Nathanael, by way of Philip, is a great example.
What else?
IMITATION
Discipleship demands relationship- enabled imitation. Jesus “did what he saw the father do, spoke what he heard the father speak.” Paul imitated Jesus, and the Thessalonians imitated Paul. Then others imitated those folks. Do the math: Disciples around Thessalonica, therefore, imitated the father.
Besides discipleship, relationships enable love and spiritual growth.
CHARITY AND SPIRITUAL FORMATION
God told Israel, and Jesus reiterated in Matthew 22:35-40, that we must honor God with everything and love people. King Solomon explained in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 that “two are better than one” for prosperity, comfort and safety. Effective relationships permit spiritual encouragement and equipping as we exhibit patience (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Colossians 3:12-13).
Similarly, close relationships allow us to do this “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3) When that doesn’t work, we must resolve relational conflicts and reconcile them.
SPIRITUAL CORRECTION AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION
The apostle Peter wrote that “love covers a multitude of sins” as we seek to restore relationships (1 Peter 4:8; Galatians 6:1-2). They can be reconciled and healed through tenderheartedness and forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32).
We also use relationships to beat each other back into shape (spiritually speaking) as you’ll find in Proverbs 27:17. There’s a more sobering, and life-saving aspect to this, though.
Christians often say, “Who am I to judge?” but don’t buy into it. Jesus explained in Matthew 18:15-20 that our responsibility is lovingly calling out anti-godly behavior. His half-brother James doesn’t mix words when he wrote that we must try to turn our Christian brothers and sisters from the “way of death” (James 5:19-20). Need more?
Check out 1 Corinthians chapter five and 2 Thessalonians 3:11-15 for examples of needing to judge (I like “assess” better) God-fearing, Christfollowers to stay on the Way of Life (sexual immorality and slackers, in these Corinthian and Thessalonian cases).
But, spiritual correction requires deep, authentic and trusting relationships to work.
SUMMARY
Deep, trusting relationships are necessary for things like discipleship, charity, correction and conflict resolution.
One way to put them to work is by presenting the good news of God’s Kingdom to the yet-tobe- churched; an airtight alibi is essential.
Let’s hang out there next.
God’s blessings and peace.
Braley, a Taylor- based minister, Air Force veteran, husband and father, earned a Master of Divinity degree from Regent University in 2018 and a Doctor of Ministry from the same school in 2021.
