DELIBERATELY DIVERSE | Janetta McCoy
“Deliberately Diverse” represents the opinions of a group of Taylor friends who enjoy diverse discussions in our beloved community.
Grief came to Texas this July. In June I was delighted to see rain and cooler temperatures predicted for the first week of July –– just enough rain that I might not need to water my grass.
Little did we know what that rain prediction really meant.
On July 4 I was driving back from my sister’s funeral in Oklahoma when we encountered a fierce rainstorm just south of Hillsboro. Traffic slowed to a crawl and vehicles flashed their hazard lights. After an emotional funeral and hazardous driving for so many hours, back in Taylor I just wanted the quiet stillness of home. I was sure I would recover by morning.
Little could I imagine the tragedy happening in our treasured Hill Country.
The morning of July 5 brought horrific images of violent flooding and reports of missing children. As of this writing 132 people are reported dead and more than 100 remain unaccounted for.
Too many of them are young children from summer camps. The grief is palpable.
At the funeral on July 3, we celebrated a long life well lived. After a few weeks in hospice, at age 82 my sister’s body gave up. At the wake and at the funeral, old friends and family shared beautiful stories of her compassion and her generosity of spirit. She will be missed by her family and in her community.
Whether for child or elder, each of us grieve in our way. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross observed there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Denial
I knew my sister was dying when I went to see her in April but I had hoped she could recover.
For the little ones in Camp Mystic, I want to think that those sweet innocents are going to be found safe. Oh, please God.
Bargaining
I thought if I could just get my sister to eat something, she could recover.
She could be happy in assisted living. But, dear God, why the little ones? How unfair. So young.
No real warning system? Cabins built in a floodplain? Somebody has to be at fault. Who is guilty of allowing this devastation?
Depression
The enormity of losing a last sibling is overwhelming. The tragedy of knowing 200 innocents unexpectedly are lost to a raging river is incomprehensible. Such sadness coupled with helplessness may require going to bed for a few days, talking to friends or even engaging professional help.
Acceptance
They lived, we loved them, they will live vividly in our memories. We display keepsakes, make family albums and tell our children about those who should not be forgotten.
Grief allows us to confront the reality of the loss of ones we love.
Grief honors memories and shared experiences.
It is human to grieve. It is not a sign of weakness. It is an essential component of healing.
McCoy is a Taylor resident with a long history in design and academia.
